Babysitter
by xxsewnlipsxx
Summary: Shepard visits Kahje with Kolyat to pick up a few of Thane's belongings and realizes they have more in common than they initially thought. Thane/Shepard


**Title: Babysitter**

**Rating: K+**

**Summary: Shepard Kahje with Kolyat to pick up a few of Thane's belongings and realizes they have more in common than they initially thought. Thane/Shepard**

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Review please.**

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Babysitter

Shepard stepped off the ship with all the confidence of a person in her command but the sadness of a mourning widow. She was dressed plainly in her armor, a pistol strapped to her hip with the rest of her guns slung across her back. Kolyat had chided her for bringing weapons, but she had insisted. The kid hadn't wanted to come to Kahje by himself, not with so many sad memories lingering. Besides that, it was time for Shepard to get such things over with. Sometimes she still thought he would be there when she awoke, and it was time to prove to herself that he was really gone. A light pink hanar approached them, gliding slowly by some force, and Shepard inclined her head in a respectful bow as Kolyat did.

"This one would like to welcome you to Kahje, Commander Shepard. This one has provided transportation to the Krios family home," the hanar said passively. Kolyat answered for her, thanking the hanar while Shepard stared outside. The station they were in was rather expansive, shining steel everywhere she looked. Large observatories marked the north and south walls, giving any tourist a grand view of the lush forests of the planet as warm rain poured down the windows like waterfalls. The ocean was just beyond. She had been able to smell the density of the air and the heat and humidity upon arriving. It was no wonder the drell were getting sick from breathing in so much of it.

Thane had never wanted to visit Kahje again, but he had requested to be buried there. With his illness becoming worse and worse, Shepard had never pressed the issue. While she felt that his home played a part in killing the man she had loved, she couldn't help but admit that Kahje truly was beautiful. It was certainly more impressive than Earth. Kolyat touched her shoulder.

"Yes?" she turned toward him.

"He's waiting for us," the kid said impatiently, gesturing to the hanar. Shepard took the hand that had been resting on her gun away and patted Kolyat's head with a small, sad smile.

"Calm down," she said. "I don't want you here any longer than you have to be, but there's no need to rush this." He ducked his head to get away, uncomfortable with her. Their relationship was very much a step-mother to step-son sort of thing. Mostly they got along, but there was an awkwardness there. Obviously Shepard was not his real mother, and Kolyat would resent her for that. Obviously Kolyat was not her real son, and while she would never hold that against him, it made Kolyat cautious of any sort of affectionate gesture she may give. There was also the matter of Thane's dying words.

_"I love you, Siha. Please, take care of Kolyat and yourself. Find happiness."_

Because of that, anything she did for the boy made him feel like she was just doing it out of obligation to his father. It wasn't true, but it was hard to change the mind of a stubborn teenager that she had once punched in the face and almost shot.

"Let's just go. It's too wet here," Kolyat said dismissively, but Shepard would not be deterred. In a show of absolute confidence and ignorance of his aversion to her, she linked her elbow with his. Smiling at his shocked expression, she proceeded to escort him to the hover car. He allowed her to get in first with a gentlemanly bow, and it reminded her so much of Thane that she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

Sitting across from one another as the hover car zoomed over the electrical track below, Shepard took out her pistol and checked the amount of bullets inside. Garrus had asked to come along for protection, but she'd declined his offer. She was ninety percent sure that nothing would attack them. The other ten percent had her taking her guns and making sure they were all jammed pack full of ammo. Kolyat was watching her with a curious look on her face.

'Expecting trouble?" he asked, leaning back and crossing his arms. The light green of his skin greatly contrasted with the white behind him making every move of his more animated.

"Always," she replied, a little blasé. "If there's anything I picked up from months with Thane, it was his paranoia." Smiling at him, she tucked the pistol back into its holster and leaned back. "Well, I also picked up a bit of his charm."

Kolyat suddenly looked uncomfortable, dark and glassy eyes looking away as he frowned. "How can you do that?"

Confused, Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"

Leaning forward with his hands on his knees, he sighed in frustration. "How can you just talk about him like that? Weren't you supposed to be in love with him? The way he talked about you—it was like he loved you more than Mom. You don't even act like he's gone. You just act like we're going to visit him on vacation or something." The teenager spoke rapidly, almost angrily. When he was finished he stared out the window as though he were embarrassed at his outburst.

Shaking her head, Shepard sighed and glanced away as well. Things would most certainly be tough with him. She expected that if he were younger, a child of twelve perhaps, that getting along with him would be easier. Teenagers she didn't like. They thought they were invincible and had opinions about everything. Though she had started considering Kolyat as something like an adopted son that didn't like her, she realized that he was having a harder time accepting her. For what was she anyway? The lover of his dead father. With Thane dead, there was nothing to bind them but a promise to a dying man and the similar feeling of suddenly being all alone in the galaxy.

They were both orphans.

"I do miss him," she admitted, her bright green eyes meeting the glassy mirrors of his own. "I miss him more than I can stand sometimes, but I'm a soldier, Kolyat. When your father and I went into it, I knew he was dying and that gave me time to prepare. It didn't hurt any less when he was finally gone, but it helped." The car stopped momentarily and started again. He was still staring at her, frowning. "I've been trained to take happiness where I can get it. And whether or not it helps or hurts you, I want you to know that I've never loved anyone like I loved Thane Krios." Satisfied, she crossed her arms and leaned back, blowing a bit of red hair out of her face.

Kolyat scoffed half-heartedly, picking a spot on the floor to stare at. "Whenever he said anything about you, it was about how strong you were. He was always talking about how nothing could beat you. Mom…he never talked about her like that."

"Listen to me, Kolyat," Shepard said in her authoritative voice, "if we're going to be sticking together then we've got to get one thing straight. I'm not a replacement for your mom. Thane never thought of me like that, and you shouldn't either. You're a man now—a young man, but a man nevertheless. You're not a child that needs my care. I'll protect you and help you out when you need it or ask me for it, but Thane wasn't setting you up with a babysitter. We're both alone now without him, and he wanted me to be there for you."

Kolyat narrowed his eyes. "Well, I don't need you. You don't have to do anything. What's the point in keeping a promise to a dead man?"

"The promise isn't the only reason I'm doing it," she said, shrugging. "You're not a bad kid, Kolyat."

The hover car came to an abrupt halt, and Shepard had to grab hold of the seat cushion to keep from toppling over onto Kolyat's lap. Frowning, she glanced out the window. Wherever they were, it was considerably darker. To her knowledge, Kahje was covered in oceans and the only way the drell could live was in various climate-controlled domes. Since they were not underwater and she was not drowning, she assumed they were still in one of the domes. Perpetual darkness glared at her as the door was opened by a young, male drell with light skin.

"Welcome, Commander Shepard," he said and extended his hand. Blinking at the sudden change in atmosphere, she grasped his hand in a firm grip and climbed out of the car, Kolyat just behind her. The dome they were in was considerably darker, illuminated with blue light rather than the harsh whiteness at the docking station dome. With the drell's implants in their eyes, it was probably easier for them to see. Shepard, however, was uncomfortable with the lack of light. They probably didn't get many human visitors on Kahje.

"Where is this?" Shepard asked the young drell curiously.

"This is one of the many domes with apartment complexes in them. We will show you to the apartment, and you will be able to take anything inside. The rest will be recycled as necessary," he explained kindly. "I had hoped that Sere Krios had explained this to you."

She raised a hand. "We never spoke of such things. Death is a grim topic among humans, and I suspect it is not overly cheerful for the drell, either."

He blinked. "It is not. There is very little to it. I suppose it must be similar to your culture as well. We do not have very many human and drell couples, but we are delighted that Sere Krios did not go the sea entirely unmourned."

"Of course," Shepard replied. "I understand the uniqueness of the situation. If we could proceed to the apartment, Kolyat will gather what he wishes, and we will not trouble you further." Kolyat stiffened beside her at being mentioned but didn't say anything. He seemed to be watching her very closely, taking in every detail as Thane often did. Shepard had asked him several times what it was like to have a perfect memory. His reply was always the same.

"_It is a gift, Siha, and a burden."_

But while she was lost in her thoughts, the young drell was speaking again and walking away. Kolyat nudged her to keep going, muttering something about absent-minded humans as he walked past her to follow their guide. Shaking her head to clear it, Shepard trailed behind, keeping her hand firmly on her pistol mostly out of habit rather than a feeling of danger.

The apartment door was strangely rounded instead of square with a scribbling writing on it, but Shepard didn't really think about it much. After so long touring space, she was growing accustomed to different cultures all too easily. She also didn't think they would find much behind the circular door. Thane didn't seem the type of man to set down roots in too many places. Most likely the apartment was a cache of guns and melee weapons, contracts or paperwork he might have needed, and other such work-related paraphernalia. There was most likely nothing of personal value to him there. Irikah and Kolyat had lived elsewhere.

Once the door was opened, the drell stepped back and allowed them to enter first. Sending an uneasy look Kolyat's way, Shepard took a ginger step inside. Thane was, above all, an assassin. There was a slight chance he would have rigged the apartment to shoot poisonous arrows or explode. After crossing the threshold, however, Shepard gave the all clear and found herself standing in the middle of something more akin to an armory than a living complex.

Truthfully it reminded her of Thane's old quarters on the _Normandy_. There were shelves lit up with exotic white light filled to the brim with top-of-the-line sniper rifles, pistols, and other guns. All of it was shielded with bullet-proof glass. Several swords lined the walls and boxes of ammunition sat in corners. Clearly it was one of Thane's main caches. He was definitely ready for war. Shepard took a few steps toward one of the boxes sitting on pedestals around the room and touched the glass. Beneath was a standard pistol, shined and beautiful.

"Gods," Kolyat exclaimed quietly, "what did he think was coming after him?"

Shepard shook her head. "It wasn't what was coming after him," she replied with a wry smile, "it was who he was going after. This apartment is the perfect out of the way kind of place to stash guns and medical equipment. I would compare it to a soldier's bunker." Shepard nudged a package of medi-gel with her foot.

Kolyat ran his hand along one of the shelves, too. "I knew he was a famous assassin," he said in awe, "but he couldn't have possibly needed all of this."

"Thane was a gun collector, I think. I never really asked." It was another one of those tiny things that she wished she knew. Shepard never realized how many questions she had about him until he wasn't there to ask anymore.

"I didn't know."

Off to the side there seemed to be a small sleeping quarter. Again Thane's room aboard the ship came to mind at the sight of the tiny cot and desk shoved to the side. Ducking inside, she ran her fingers along the surface of the white desk, fingers catching tiny granules of dust. He hadn't been to the apartment in a long time. It seemed as though he had left in a hurry, as well. Shepard sank down on the cot and covered her eyes.

When Thane had died, she'd promised herself she wouldn't let their affair distract her from the mission. That little promise hadn't meant a thing when she'd had to deal with funeral arrangements for a man who was a different species than her, answer questions about his death to the council, and watch out for Kolyat who just had a knack for getting into trouble. Eventually some sort of representative of the dead had called for her to shut down Thane's old apartment lease and gather up what she needed or wanted of his things. And she hadn't wanted anything. Their time together and the tiny necklace at her throat were all the souvenirs she needed. Escorting Kolyat to pick up a few of his father's weapons and such had seemed like a great bonding moment if nothing else.

Then reading Thane's note had left her crying.

"Shepard?" Kolyat asked, suddenly looming in the doorway. Shepard started, sitting up straighter and wiping the wetness from her eyes.

"Yeah?" she forced a smile. "Did you find something you wanted to take with you?"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm no good as a marksman, and there's nothing here but guns."

"You're not that bad."

"Did you find something?" he asked.

Closing her eyes and leaning back, she replied, "No, but I didn't think I would."

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**I'm fighting an onset of severe writer's block. This is really crappy. Thanks for reading. Review please.**


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